It's a funny time for me to be home for this holiday. I seem to be in the ultimate transition of life right now. Right side up is no longer what it used to be. I was on the seabus the other day when I realized that this west coast holiday has seemingly opened my brain to this endless free streaming thought process. It's like I had a back up that I didn't know about. Suddenly I can't seem to unplug, I just am thinking, thinking, thinking.
I usually only get this way when I travel to places I've never seen. When I was on buses in middle of nowhere India in 2004, this was usually the case. I'd see a signpost, or an animal, or a building, or would overhear someone's greeting and would be triggered into this tangental series of thought... it was like waterfalls of thought in my brain... the only way to quell it was to write it... so this is my attempt today.
Today, the stream started while trying on bras in a store called CHANGES. Yeah, that's right. Who names their bra stores CHANGES anyway? It's a truly bizarre thing to name a bra store I think... for one, it's not super positive in purpose. It almost suggests that the reason you've had to visit their specialty bra store is that uh, well, perhaps you've been through some CHANGES and that meant you grew to an irregular size and can't shop at the vie en rose outlet store anymore. It's not like they are congratulating you... rather they are telling you to deal with the fact that every bra you wear for the rest of your life is going to cost you upwards of $50 dollars each. Due to your CHANGES you have left the $8 zone and will never ever return.
Now I guess this could be reassuring for someone who perhaps, had a baby or something. But not really for those of us who, at grade nine, had these things just pop out from your chest onto a skinny frame and the ratio of boob to width of chest is unusual. My ratio has been the same for years - give or take some hip weight and the toll of late night Toronto. Yet I still have a solid membership to this store. Although, I am being hard on it - the only thing I don't like is the name of the store. The rest is wonderful. The sales people are amazing, the bras are gorgeous - not crap maternity things that make you feel like you are hoisting things on your chest like it's burden. These bras they sell you here make you celebrate your tatas and well, that's all you can ask for in the end, I guess.
I've been on a sort of house arrest here in Vancouver. For one thing, it snowed. A lot. All day, in fact. More than any Vancouverite knows how to deal with. Also, my wireless connection doesn't seem to want to connect to the internet so I'm stuck with breaking into my parent's connection and using their comp, which is always not running the way I want it to. All the things I enjoy - from simple things like watching the news have now become hard - turning on the massive flat screen telly involves five channel changers (clickers as my fam calls them) and even then, there are too many channels for me to choose from. I just want to watch the local news goddammit! And I don't even want to talk about the fact that I can't seem to open their weird locking doors.
The one sure thing I have on my side is the coffee maker. I am thankfully able to grind beans, and make coffee. On my own. Like I know what I'm doing. It restores my daily confidence.
Oh, today, I had to admit I was no longer a natural blonde too. It's hard. I mean, this information is listed all over my life - on my passport, driver's license and such... but i realized that I had to admit that the blonde bits, are actually remnant of the magical dye fairy and, well, post CHANGES store experience, I visited our local hair salon (husband and wife team whose salon is in their basement) and they colour matched my roots and well, world....It's final. I'm going natural. (Wonder how long this is going to last?!)
Ok. My web-spew is over for now. Time for a home cooked mince pie and to open a door of the advent calendar that one of my grandmas sent from England for the family. Sometimes love defies logic. This advent calendar is a clear example.
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